Modern Choir

BARRY

How to be famous, how to be famous? How will I ever walk on the Walk of Fame? How will millions adore me and listen to me? How?

CHOIR

How indeed? How would you ever be famous?

BARRY

I’ll act.

CHOIR

you’re as stiff as a plank.

BARRY

I’ll sing.

CHOIR

Choir: you sound like one too.

BARRY

I’ll teach.

CHOIR

About what?

BARRY

About my life so far.

CHOIR

You’re just Twenty-one.

BARRY

About all the things I know.

CHOIR

Nobody cares.

BARRY

I’ll run for president.

CHOIR

You’re broke.

BARRY

I have charisma.

CHOIR

Your own reflection runs away from you.

BARRY

I will carry the voice of a generation.

CHOIR

And you’ll be the only one?

BARRY

I’ll paint.

CHOIR

Like shit.

BARRY

I’ll draw.

CHOIR

Like Shit.

BARRY

I’ll sculpt.

CHOIR

Like Shit.

BARRY

Direct.

CHOIR

Shit.

BARRY

Animate.

CHOIR

Shit.

BARRY

Write.

CHOIR

Shit.

BARRY

Direct.

CHOIR

Shit.

BARRY

I’ll become a Pornstar.

CHOIR

You’ll have to pay to star

BARRY

I’ll write a musical about a Founding Father

CHOIR

Wait for it

BARRY

I’ll play sports. That’s it

CHOIR

You’re exhausted after lunch

BARRY

Tennis

CHOIR

You can’t aim

BARRY

Sprint

CHOIR

You can’t run

BARRY

Basketball

CHOIR

You’re not black

BARRY

Football

CHOIR

You’re not Brazilian

BARRY

I’ll cause a mass shooting

CHOIR

Again, you can’t aim

BARRY

Then what can I do to be famous?

CHOIR

 Who asked you in the first place?

BARRY

I did

CHOIR

And you trust yourself?

BARRY

Yes, I do

CHOIR

No you don’t

BARRY

Sod it. 

- Ruben Dewulf

The Script Edition

Hello everyone!

Yesterday was our first meeting after the Easter holidays. It was also the first time that Lena led the meeting; she did a good job introducing us to the joy of writing a script for theatre or for a movie. Lena led us through the art of script writing by having us write five different kinds of scenes. I will list each one below, if you feel like trying out something, feel free. You could even send it to us later and we will post it here on the blog, with your permission of course.

The first scene was a warm-up exercise. Lena asked us to write a scene while using specific stage directions:

A: comes up, sits on a chair

B: comes up, stands next to A

A: looks at B, shrugs

B: sits down next to A, puts hand on shoulder

A: pushes hand away, walks away

The second scene was a bit more complicated. Lena started by explaining us what a monologue is in theatre, namely a scene where one protagonist talks to himself or to the audience directly. The exercise was to write a scene where the protagonist writes a letter confessing something and in the meantime talk to the audience about it. Valerie, one of the participants of the meeting, wrote a funny monologue which reminded us of the very real anxiety of having to make a phone call. You can read it by clicking here! 

Then, Lena asked us to write a dialogue which would be the follow-up of the monologue we had written before. Meaning, two protagonists talking to each other, one of them holding something which suspiciously looks like the letter the other character wrote in the scene just before that. Although, what the protagonist is actually holding is something completely different. Lena was so kind to share with us the scene she had written about a girl who just wrote a letter confessing she has a crush on her brother's best friend and then freaks out because she believes her mother found that letter. It turns out though that the mother found a letter by the brother's secret admirer. 

The penultimate revolved a Greek tradition: the choir. Traditionally, the members of the choir would comment on what happens during the play and give some background information. Our task was to write a scene where the protagonist talks about all his elaborate and ambitious plans even though the choir is a bit more ... realistic. You can read what Ruben wrote here! 

For the last exercise, Lena talked to us about the tradition of the Commedia Dell'arte and its most famous characters. Our challenge was to write a new scene with 2 of the characters Lena presented to us. While writing, we heard Ruben laughing so when we had all finished, we promptly but in a kind way asked Ruben to share his work with us. I believe I am not only speaking for myself when I say that I was impressed by the creative swear words. You can read the story here. Enjoy! 

That was it for this week! In 2 weeks (May 2d), we will be meeting at the World's End for our next meeting which will be a games edition!

Until then,

Cara 

Commedia Dell'arte

The manservant and the soldier are making their way through the villa. The soldier is the son of the villa’s owner and has finally returned from the war.

Capitano: Thank you manservant, I wish to be alone now. Please do not disturb me further. I will see you again tomorrow.

Arlequino: Of course, sir, and it’s so nice to have you back after all these long years.

Capitano: Thank you but now I wish to be alone.

The manservant leaves the room and then enters again

Arlequino: Do you have need of anything, sir?

Capitano: You idiotic swine, did you not hear I wished to be alone?

Arlequino: My apologies, sir, I’ll leave

Capitano: No, stay so I can tell you how stupid you are for not leaving me alone

Arlequino: errr…

Capitano: I have just returned from a war, you know. I lost my arm, my leg, both of my eyes, my spine, my stomach and my sense of humour.

Arlequino: But sir, you are physically fine.

Capitano: I found them again, you swine-hair dressed son of a backwards mule riding wood gatherer. All except for my sense of humour.

Arlequino: My mother does not…

Capitano: I’m rich so I’m always right. Why are you still here?

Arlequino: You told me to stay.

Capitano: No, I didn’t. Don’t start spreading vile rumours, you monkey-washing oddhaired son of an Arctic Baboon

Arlequino: Why is my hair odd?

Capitano: It does not have an even number of hairs in it. Everyone knows having 120 hairs on their head is a sign of godlike perfection. Now why I am not alone yet?

Arlequino: I…

Capitano: Stay, I must insult you more, you table-fucking, bucketpraising, cow-worshipping, spaghettisniffing, airbreathing, rat-dressed spawn of a Wi-Fi-stealing, hay-sniffing, well-pissing, scissor-breaking, tooth-licking, spider-eating, sun-staring, wig-wearing Bulgarian ice cream vendor.

Arlequino: My lord, now you are offending me and my poor mother with these lies. She’s Hungarian.

Capitano: Just go, so I can be alone and contemplate being alone in a philosophical sense

Arlequino: I’m going and I will not disturb you anymore… When should I wake you?

Capitano: Out

- Ruben Dewulf

Monologue

Write a letter she said. It’ll be a load off you shoulders she said. Look at me now, sitting here at this desk. Ridiculous! Like this is going to help. I mean, It’s not like I’m ever going to send it, so why would I even--- Ugh. For fuck’s sake.

*5 min of quiet writing*

Fuck this is anything but productive. It’s not like I did anything wrong. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I DON’T. Because I’m not, guilty. Haven’t you ever done anything stupid, because something was done to you, that made you so fucking mad, that you just had to, you know let the anger out.

You with the pink glasses, I see you. Yeah you did, didn’t you! Well, did you apologize after? Like for real, heartfelt and all that shit. As if you did something wrong? When you know you didn’t do anything wrong. Because I sure as hell didn’t, so why would I need to apologize? SHE SHOULD HAVE TO APOLOGIZE, that rude little—

Fuck this. *rips up letter*

You would think that I smashed her phone on the ground and stepped on it, then kicked it and it smashed against the wall. I didn’t do more than dunk it a nice bath of steaming hot coffee.

But wasn’t my fault. She’s was the one to blame! She was still on her phone, waiting in line to get her coffee. You know those people, always on their phones, yammering the whole damn time. Well, she was one of those. She should apologize for her rude ass behavior. Fuck her, I didn’t do anything wrong!

- Valerie